prophetic-schemes replied to your post “seriously considering having my boss have an instruction sheet for all…”

when I see the words “micing” or “miced” I always pronounce it like “mice” rather than “mic” in my head and it is v entertaining for me and this is not actually important information for you to have

hahaha, no, not important. but certainly amusing!

 posted 18 minutes ago · 4965 notes (leiawars © annienadir)

 posted 20 minutes ago · 10247 notes (thefrogman ©



i don’t understand why people don’t instantly respond to “what would your dream superpower be” with the ability to manipulate probability.
think about it. what’s the chance someone will drop 1mil in front of me? 0%? let’s make that 100%. what’s the probability i’ll wake up tomorrow and be X gender? 100%. what’s the probability my bathtub is filled with mac and cheese? 100%.

as a casino employee I can confirm this would be terrifying as fuck


a creature of true majesty


a creature of true majesty


terms for penis you should not use in fics:

  • love stick
  • doinker
  • schlong
  • wankie
  • ding dong
  • 100% all-beef thermometer
  • bologna pony
  • stinky pickle
  • magic wand
  • divine rod
  • love muscle
  • power drill
  • captain winky
  • yogurt slinger
  • DNA rifle

 posted 25 minutes ago · 333191 notes (watchtheclock


*Bob Belcher voice* oh my god

“I’ll marry a man who knows how I take my tea, coffee, and alcohol
And knows when to make which.” — grettypop (via grettypop)